Apr
1
by Katrina Lim
I made a 24 hour trip to Vegas so my family can spend the week for free at the Palazzo. It was good to check up on the condo too. Same ole, same ole. Spent the evening sitting on the couch looking around the room wondering if it is worth keeping. Like the rest of America, my condo is one of the millions of underwater mortgages that is begging for mercy from BofA, also known as the Great Satan. I should hear from Satan any day now regarding a loan mod and will decide if I should continue to sell my soul to him.
Had dinner at Naked Fish with XTracey and Pearljammer and we enjoyed some of their famous sushi rolls. Yum! Spent some time at the Ballys tables and it was nice to see my dealer friends again. But it sure sucked losing $500 last night. Worst beat was when my set got rivered by the villain’s 2 pair when he rivered a flush.
Driving home on the 15 was the worst case of jank ever! I was stopped by CHP and the fool gave me a ticket for 78. Yes, I was speeding considering the limit is 70. Yes, other fools were passing me up but of course he has to stop me. C’mon! How fast can a 115 horsepower Honda Civic really go?! I think my Decepticon sticker just attracts Blue. Anyway, fine! Gimme my dumb ass ticket cuz it’s almost the end of the month and I know you have a quota to meet! Dumb ass CHP! They’re all slaves to Arnold now that the Governator has demanded more tickets issued. Start with your dumb ass wife getting caught on TMZ talking on her cell phone…twice!
Anyway, here is where I get really janked…about 10 miles after I get my ticket, the same dumb ass CHP officer is behind me in the fast lane and I’m going exactly his recommended 70 mph limit. He flashes his headlights at me to move over so he can pass me up cuz now I’m going too slow!!! OMG!! Sure enough, Decepticivic moves over to the next lane and Mr. Officer passes me up real fast. I actually laughed cuz I realized the fool just janked me up without even knowing it. But he made a big mistake for picking on LimShady!!! No one screws LimShady and gets away with it. So, I truly believe Mr. CHP just cursed himself and sooner or later, the next gangsta he stops is going to put a cap in his dumb ass cuz no gangsta is gonna accept what happened to me today. Mr. CHP is just asking for a 187.